I Am Here.

Alive. Can recognize being here. Feel SHAMAZING. Like I got sunshine comin’ out my butt.

I’m ok with it all — except the macro conditions of the two-headed coin, the ballroom vs the SNAP program, the airport chaos, the longest shutdown — against it all, aware of it all, can see their moves and want none of it nor want to pay it any mind.

It is pure evil, selfish, hoarding, the world’s first trillionaire — may they burn alive in the trash fire of their terrifying, gaudy, plastic aesthetics, and choke forever in its fumes.

I’m out here resisting in my own ways — zigging against the zag — supporting and mentoring and holding a million ideas that support my own and others pursuits. It’s all teaching and learning and sharing. It’s building, planting, shining a light, opening pathways. It’s community. Peer to peer to peer like a triangle. A stable shape. Its own symbol of resistance, co-opted. It’s how we pull outselves out of this mess. Not the way we got here, but a new, nurturing, hopeful, aware, socialized, equity-adjacent or co-op friendly future. AND! We have MAMDANI IN THE HOUSE.I cried for a week or weeks leading up to Tuesday. May the ancestors and theirs keep him safe. He represents such hope to so many. A record breaking number of NYers came out to vote. Like SHIT! It’s TIME! And that cyber fail and this leader who got booed today. It’s all so CLEAR.

Two choices: for few, or for all.

The thing that I cannot fathom is — what do you do with it all? What can’t you buy? An election? Did that. A country? Probably. A faction? Votes? What’s the end goal? You can’t take it with you — you can’t find happiness or satisfaction down that route.

True love is gained in your giving, I wrote, probably in the early 90s [nope, a decade later, and it was “wisdom,” not love], even before I knew how much I knew.

It’s taken me half my life to arrive. In my body. My capacity. In my truth. I’ve noticed the strength and clarity — as well as the calmness of certainty. It’s not showy — it’s even and rational. It doesn’t require convincing others — it more simply is.

Last night in Boulder Creek — haircut tomorrow, dinner with Ari, letting them know, measurements for the new config, work and parties and it’s all happening.